#Into the wilderness quotes how to#

Someone, somewhere, will say, вЂDonвЂ™t do it. вЂњThere will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and weвЂ™ll doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own.вЂќ The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. вЂњTrue belonging and self-worth are not goods we donвЂ™t negotiate their value with the world. We must never tolerate dehumanization-the primary instrument of violence that has been used in every genocide recorded throughout history.вЂќ And raging, fearful people from the right and left are crossing it at unprecedented rates every single day. ItвЂ™s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.вЂќ Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Here are a few more of my favourite BrenГ© Brown quotes from Braving the Wilderness: If youвЂ™ve ever wondered where you fit in and who you fit in with right now, if youвЂ™ve ever felt afraid to speak up for fear of being judged or labelled, if you find yourself feeling disillusioned or frustrated with the way people communicate about important issues, and if you know there is a better alternative to all these things, this book is a must-read. But itвЂ™s also the path to deepest connection with the right people-those who value curiosity, vulnerability, authenticity and also want to view people as individuals rather than make assumptions about them based on the supposed groups they belong to. As she also remarks, this kind of truth-telling is rarely easy and will evoke criticism from others who are invested in fitting in.

As she points out, language that dehumanises anyone is wrong-wherever and whoever it comes from. I admire her courage in spotlighting this paradoxical behaviour. Either way, the choices weвЂ™re making to protect our beliefs and ourselves are leaving us disconnected, afraid, and lonely.вЂќ вЂњMost of us are either making the choice to protect ourselves from conflict, discomfort, and vulnerability by staying quiet, or picking sides and in the process slowly and paradoxically adopting the behavior of the people weвЂ™re fighting. This isnвЂ™t a book that tells you what to think, but rather gives you the tools and the courage to reject the idea of being on a particular вЂњteamвЂќ altogether and stand beside what you know to be true. One of the things I appreciate most is the way Brown isnвЂ™t trying to push a particular agenda, but instead encourages us to stand up for our own agenda, based on our values, principles, and beliefs, rather than going with the status quo or aligning ourselves with a particular group out of fear or peer pressure. If I have to be like you, I fit in.вЂќДЄs our culture trends more and more towards warring collectives, Braving the Wilderness is a breath of fresh air. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. One of my favourite distinctions she makes in the book is that between fitting in and belonging:

#Into the wilderness quotes how to#

The result is a moving and perspective-shifting book that shows us how to stay connected (and sane!) while everyone around us seems to be breaking off into вЂњus and themвЂќ factions based on emotional triggers and faulty logic.

While still sharing the research-based findings she is well-known for, this book interweaves data with stories from BrownвЂ™s own life and interviews with others. The eponymous wilderness is the space we have to be willing to go in order to be ourselves, to live with authenticity, and to speak up for what we believe in with integrity. Not only that, but when we desire to fit in with a group who shares one of our beliefs or values, we might end up adopting allВ of their beliefs and values in an effort to stay connected to them, even those that are irrational or require us to disconnect from our true selves. While this is a well-worn strategy for finding community, things can go wrong when we start basing our shared ground on a dislike, even hatred, of вЂњthe otherвЂќ-people who think differently and have different beliefs and value sets to us. We have a tendency to meet our need for belonging by seeking out people who think the same things we do and share our beliefs and value sets.

Rather than seeking to find belonging amongst friends, people who think the same way we do, or other groups, we need to get familiar and comfortable with our own beliefs, values, opinions, thoughts, and feelings first. The central message is this: true belonging starts with ourselves.